Saturday, February 27, 2010
I am truly bummed!! What is it with me this week? I feel homesick for Italy!! Why? Probably because I actually had friends there. You see, I may have moved back to an area that is considered our family home, but I don't have any friends here that I can just call and say come over and visit with me. It's just sad!! I love my home and my family, but sometimes ya just need more. I don't like feeling like I'm a burden to others, so I won't call someone out of the blue that I don't know very well and ask them to come over and visit with me. I have prayed every night for a friend, but alas none have showed up on my doorstep. Am I being too selfish? I don't know. I feel like I have given so much of myself to others and those around me but nothing is being replaced. I know that probably sounds like depression and believe me I know. I have suffered from depression for MANY years. I have been feeling really well and have been able to cope fairly well, but this week has just been in the crapper. We have been in our new ward for two months and we've yet to see hometeachers or visiting teachers. What's up with that? I've been trying to fill my own bucket with trips to the temple, church on Sunday, fulfilling my callings as wife, mother, VT supervisor, visiting teacher, daughter, crafter, and gamer, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I really need someone that I can talk to, someone who really cares and will actually listen to me (no judging please), maybe someone that would let me cry on their shoulder. Boy, I sure don't want much do I?