Saturday, February 27, 2010

Bummed!!

I am truly bummed!! What is it with me this week? I feel homesick for Italy!! Why? Probably because I actually had friends there. You see, I may have moved back to an area that is considered our family home, but I don't have any friends here that I can just call and say come over and visit with me. It's just sad!! I love my home and my family, but sometimes ya just need more. I don't like feeling like I'm a burden to others, so I won't call someone out of the blue that I don't know very well and ask them to come over and visit with me. I have prayed every night for a friend, but alas none have showed up on my doorstep. Am I being too selfish? I don't know. I feel like I have given so much of myself to others and those around me but nothing is being replaced. I know that probably sounds like depression and believe me I know. I have suffered from depression for MANY years. I have been feeling really well and have been able to cope fairly well, but this week has just been in the crapper. We have been in our new ward for two months and we've yet to see hometeachers or visiting teachers. What's up with that? I've been trying to fill my own bucket with trips to the temple, church on Sunday, fulfilling my callings as wife, mother, VT supervisor, visiting teacher, daughter, crafter, and gamer, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I really need someone that I can talk to, someone who really cares and will actually listen to me (no judging please), maybe someone that would let me cry on their shoulder. Boy, I sure don't want much do I?

5 comments:

Becca Juhasz said...

I can really feel you there! I've been in the ward here for 8 Months and STILL don't have a good friend. Everyone seems to busy. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of nice folks here, and I've gotten to know a lot of people through my calling (formerly known as "enrichment leader") but no one who I feel close to! I think I'm just one of those people who needs a really close girl friend. My hubby's great, but...
I'm sure you understand.
I hope things get better for you! Love you!

Kari said...

All I can say Pam is welcome back to Utah. It's always that way here! We just keep praying Randy will get one of the jobs he has applied for so we can get OUT of here! I wish I could help, but don't know if I am who you need. I've become quite a loner here because I don't trust anyone any more. Been hurt too many times. But I am here for you if you decide you would like to "hang out".
Take care and remember you are loved!

heather said...

I seriously know how you're feeling. I HATED Utah for the first... 7 months we lived there. I had tried and tried and tried to make friends and nothin' BUT in that 7th month my visiting teachers changed and actually came, and they were like "Don't you just love this ward?" And I said, "No. Actually I don't. Not at all." Then I explained.

My BIL gave me some good advice too. He told us not to even bother trying to be friends with people from Utah because they just won't/ don't have time for you. You have to extend the hand of friendship to other "implants." Which we found to be true and solid advice. Not one of the people we ended up being friends with were from Utah.

Also, we just moved again, to Colorado and I'm in a similar spot. ALL my friends are out of state & the blogging world and my cell phone is *again* my only source of daily friendship.

I figure just more time and effort will solve this. Hang in there.

heather said...

If you're living near Kaysville, email me. I know a few bloggers up there.

HDJ said...

Hey Girl-I am so sorry you're having a hard time! I love moving and seeing new places and people, but this is the part I hate. I have one friend in my ward after 2 yrs here-it is not a friendly ward-i didn't have a VT for 6 months at least and no home teacher for over a year-I am just happy that spiritually you are in a better place than I was when we got here-that helps!! I really hope things look up soon!!