Monday, June 7, 2010

I'm Done!!

I am so discouraged and fed up with this ward!!! We went to the bishop for help for Aimee for her mission because we can't do it all financially and he won't help us!! All we would need is a little bit of help for about six months until we get back on our feet, but because we aren't paying contributions directly to the ward, he won't help. We have family members that are willing help us support Aimee, it's not a lot that we are asking for. I won't ever be stepping into this ward again! Dave is going in to see him Tuesday night to show him our budget and what exactly we live on each month, I really don't think it will alter his decision. He is even considering taking our recommends away!!! Who is supposed to go to the temple with Aimee her first time? We want to!!!! So it looks like we will be giving up the only 'luxury' we have...our home. We will be living with my parents for the next few months, so that we can support Aimee. That's how important her mission is to us and our family!!!

Will I let this affect my testimony as far as the Gospel is concerned? No!! I have a very strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the restoration, the priesthood, genealogy, and all that goes with it!!!

We have always helped and given when we could, to our family, friends, and even strangers. I don't understand why we don't get the help we need when we need it? All we can do is do our best!!! Some how this will all work out for our benefit and good.

Monday night we went to my parents for dinner and talked to them about everything that has been going on, cried a lot, and humbly asked if we could move into their trailer for the summer. With open arms they have embraced us and allowed us to move into their home. We will actually be moving into their home at the end of the month. It seems to be the answer of supporting Aimee on her mission.

Tuesday night Dave went to talk to our bishop and told him our plans. The bishop backtracked everything he had told us on Sunday. Now he says that our temple recommends were never in jeapordy, that, of course, the ward will pay for Aimee's mission. What can the ward to help us so that we would stay in the ward....too little too late.

I have NEVER had anyone make me feel so worthless, unworthy, and like such a failure, as this bishop has made us feel since moving into his ward. I haven't cried so many tears!

I do thank my Father in Heaven every day for the blessings HE has genereously given to our family. Sometimes I wonder if He is listening to my heartfelt pleas, and the He blesses me with what I truly need. I know our family will be blessed when Aimee goes out on her mission. I know that we have to show the Lord what we will do and sacrifice in order for her to go, and we are doing it!

I will not be bitter over what has happened or how we were treated in this ward. My testimony has been strengthened by this experience. I have learned how to be more loving, kind, genereous, and giving. I have learned again the power of the priesthood. I have once again learned just how much my family loves me and wants us to be happy.

Forgive me for my ramblings, I needed somewhere to write this experience down.


Becca Juhasz said...

OH PAM!!! I honesty don't know what to say! We love you! We'll keep you, your family and especially Aimee in our prayers!

The Christensen Family said...

I am so Sorry that you have been going through such and hard time. Hang in there and everything will work out. Things always seem the darkest before the lightest. something like that. love ya

HDJ said...

That is crazy stuff!!! I am so glad that your testimony is firm! I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of that! The only consolation I can offer-blessings blessings blessings for Aimee's service!! Love ya!