Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I'm such a baby

I discovered this new show, GREY'S ANATOMY, and I love it!! I was watching one of the episodes from season 2 last night and started crying!!! The episode was when Cristina miscarries. I cried so hard. You see, it has been ten years since I had Kaitlyn and had my tubes tied for health reasons, I had a miscarriage almost two weeks ago. We had NO idea that I was even pregnant, well, I suspected, but just pushed it aside. Any way, I thought I was okay with it. Besides I will be 41 years old next week and have had so many health problems the past couple of years that I don't think I would have done very well with a pregnancy, but still. I cried for yet another child lost, that I couldn't hold in my arms. You see I lost two babies mid-pregnancy between Wendy and Kaitlyn, and I miss them very much because I wasn't able to hold them in my arms either. And today is also the thirteenth anniversary of losing one of those babies. Dave has always been so good to me during these times. He just holds me and lets me cry and listens when I need to talk about it. I love you Honey!!

I am so grateful for the children I do have and I know they truly are miracles in my life. The each bring something unique to our family and all bring great joy to our home. I don't know what I would do without them in my life. Some days I wish they would all move out, but at the end of each day, I am so glad that they are still under our roof. I love them so much!!


Kari said...

WOW! Interesting that you became pregnant in the first place! Sorry to hear about your loss. What can be said other than that. Aren't we happy for the Plan of Salvation though? Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care! We love you guys!!

Palmer Family said...

Wow Pam. All I can think is it must be a part of the plan for some reason. The little spirit needed to come for just a bit. I hope you are all well otherwise. I sure do miss you!!

The Christensen Family said...

Pam...I am sorry to hear about your lost. I can't believe after 10 yrs. you were pregnant. I hope you doing well. Love ya