Wednesday, March 25, 2009


I'm going to do a little bit of ranting, so bare with me here. I have two wonderful, beautiful, caring, smart daughters. They have fun with each other, they do fun things together, they have shared some great experiences and some horrible experiences in their lives. They are great friends to each other and try really hard to let others into their circle. They have had some great friends. But since moving here they haven't been able to make any friends that they could hang out with. They live by the standards of the church, they have had great achievements with their talents, they are GOOD girls. Yet, each time they try to include other kids in their activities, ie. movies, game nights, they get stood up, shot down or just plain left out.

Aimee is the Young Single Adult Rep. for our ward and she has made plans for activities for the singles in our small ward. Granted there aren't that many singles, but they should be supporting each other and bonding together. Several activities Aimee has planned there has been NO ONE show up. That makes her feel like a failure, and wonder what she is doing wrong. Did she make someone mad, not include someone in something? Come on it's not that hard to participate.
Wendy is always willing to help ANYONE out with ANYTHING. She is so fun and loving to everyone she meets and wants to have friends, but for some reason she and Aimee both are unable to make friends with those LDS kids.

What brought this on was that some of the singles went to Rome for a couple of days with a couple of singles that were visiting a family in the ward and Aimee and Wendy weren't even asked if they would like to go!! Aimee and Wendy are both so hurt. They have tried to be friends with the three from the ward that went and have tried to include them in activites, but they get kicked in the teeth. They so feel like outsiders here, never included in anything outside of their callings. They are so frustrated!!

What do we do as parents? Especially when we are treated the same way by others in the ward. I know I'm just complaining and probably only seeing the negative stuff, but it has happened in several wards we have lived in. We aren't a military family, but we have moved quite a bit in our 22 year marriage. There have been four or five wards where we have felt at home, but since Aimee and Wendy have become teenagers we have been out in left field and not felt a part of any ward.


lusciouschaos said...

My heart goes out to you. It is true that in the one place that cliques should not exist they often do. Harder still is being the mom and watching the rejection from the sideline.
I always tell mine to hang on--that there will come a time when they will find the friend they seek. The other upside is that in raising those who have been left out, they are more sensitive to making sure others don't feel the same way. You end up with very compassionate children. Thank goodness they have a loving family.

The Christensen Family said...

I am so sorry Pam and girls. One thing that comes to mind is maybe they are jelouse for some reason. Maybe they see they have eachother and such a sweet spirit that they feel intiminated. Hang in there and you will find what your looking for. love ya

Debbie said...

I'm sorry that the girls are being left out. It is so sad that this is happening with kids at church. That is the last place that you would think there would be a problem with acceptance. I hope that things will get better for them. I hate to see someone feeling left out. Please give my love to them both. They are both such nice girls!

Amber said...

having seen it first hand with your girls... they aren't doing anything wrong. you're right...they are good girls. just hug them a little more and tell them they're not the only ones in the world who feel the way they do.. aka.. me :) love you guys.